I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize