I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
