Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He is an equal opportunity slut.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
