so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
