Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
