You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
