I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Rumble strips road head = magical
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
