am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
