Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize