and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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