I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
