I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
