I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
