I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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