Got a toothbrush?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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