Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
