dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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