Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
