You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
