Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
