"it" just moved
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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