Little spoons don't ask big questions
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
