We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
