I am puke
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Randomize
