The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
