sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
