Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i think i just lost a toe
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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