Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
