Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
