I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize