I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
