I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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