at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
