Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
