There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
