Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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