found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
