Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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