Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
