Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
