after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize