Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
