I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize