fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
