just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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