a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
