It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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