I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
