Clothes are such an inconvenience.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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