if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
