grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
