Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
