yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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