Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
