Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
