You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
