and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
