do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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