PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize