youre lurking in front of me
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
